Wow, so there is really nothing like a hard hit to my ego to remind myself of what’s important. I can get upset so damn easily sometimes, it makes me wonder where in lies my true faith? Do I place it rightly upon those who care for me? Or do I place it upon false idols and hollow dreams?
I often take a chance and try to dream, try to wonder what if I could be better, faster, stronger, more popular, less afraid, more attractive, smarter or wiser. I wonder what is wrong with me if I can’t simply achieve such things. I beat myself up for all my shortcomings. I do this not for lack of love and support, but for apathy in not seeing the invisible strings of love and attachment which bind me to the world. Ok, maybe I’m getting a little out there for a blog post, or maybe I just can’t articulate what I’m feeling. Either way, I feel like gratitude for friends always gets me out of this funk. Recently I spoke with my brother who lives in New York and has a rather busy schedule. We talk when we can, bit it is often hard to match schedules. When we do talk, I always feel better, I always feel like things will be alright. The same goes for my friends. Although I didn’t grow up with most of them, they still hold a special place in my heart. I know I fail to mention this to them as often as I should, and show them even less than I tell them, but they always seem to be there when I am in a bad place and need some support. So it is to you, my friends, my family, and friendly strangers, that I dedicate this blog. Without your support I’d never dive into the inner recesses of my mind and pull out that which pulls at my heart strings. I find very few things in life that can have the same healing impact as a good friend. And in a world of social climbing, status seeking, multi-tasking, body centric consciousness, risk taking, and perfection seeking, I need that safety. I crave that security, a social security, and probably the only social security I will ever know. Cheers to you buddies.
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