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Category Archives: Education

Inspire me!

Inspire me!

Well, helloooooooo!

I have been blogging for over a year now, and have found it exceedingly fun. I actually got inspired by watching Julie and Julia (thank you to the late and great Nora Ephron). I do plan on reading the book eventually… lol220px-Julie_and_julia

I related a lot to Julie’s steps and missteps in life, trying to find a place where she felt loved, appreciated, and passionate. She found herself slipping in life, falling between the cracks of her peers, and struggling to find an identity. She found herself. It was not through meditation, rehab, or even a relationship, it was through cooking. Cooking Julia Child specifically. She decided to take on the task of cooking all the recipes in Child’s Mastering The Art of French Cooking. How she dealt with the ups and downs of cooking reflected how she handled her problems in her life. (check out the clip below – from the movie) Do you simply give up after a failure? Do you constantly have a need for approval? Can you simply try and love yourself for trying? I found the message to be truly heartwarming. The Julie character was human. She was imperfect, and beautiful. She tried at life. She went in not knowing what to expect. She had many setbacks, but eventually succeeded, not just by accomplishing what she set out to do, but every single time she picked herself up and kept at it, she was a success. I can relate.

All my life I have felt less than. I feel like everyone else is in competition, and that I will ultimately be the loser. I gain strength from the messages in this film. I found that I can be me, aIMG_6896nd that I am glorious already. It is time to shine. I am simply putting my thoughts into this blog. I am obviously not an expert, well, in anything really. But I like to think that I can love myself simply because I deserve love. Everyone does.

So enough with the heavy… I am still waiting to see what life this blog will take. I am trying to let it go in its own direction. I look to you now to inspire that direction. Please fill out the poll below and let me know what (if any) of the following would interest you. I really want to know! 🙂 If it’s not on the list, just let me know in the comment section.

Thank you for reading… And although I may not know all of you, I love you just the same.

XOXO

-Jon

 

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School Ties…

School Ties…
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I dunno… C? B? Pi? Shit… I’m trying to study!

The grand libraries with velvet upholstered chairs, accomplished teachers with of renown, late-night study sessions with classmates, and subsisting on a diet of coffee and heavy literature. It has been 7 years since I’ve been in school, and every year I yearn to return to the land of academia. When I attended UC Berkeley, I was truly honored to be among such learned people. Honestly, I felt like I was challenged constantly. Coming from a community college, I felt like a king. I was in the honor society and excelled in extra-curricular activities. At “Cal” I was one among many. I didn’t feel as special. And what’s worse, I let myself believe that. What is closer to the truth is that I was special, I AM special. I compared myself to those who never voiced their opinions in class, I told myself that I shouldn’t ask questions, I shouldn’t be curious and think outside the box. I should digest, and memorize, memorize, memorize. What a bunch of bullshit! That is not what I signed up for and certainly not what I should have been doing at a school known for radical thought. But nevertheless, I told myself to fall in line, before I fall behind. So scurrying my early 20-something ass to study session, lab, and lecture, I tried my hardest to get through some of the most challenging classes of my life. Having survived seemingly unscathed, I counted myself lucky for managing to finish and get that effing degree. Go Bears!

But despite this accomplishment, I failed to recognize the potential ahead of me. One should never

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A tie from my first Alma Mater…

simply rest on their laurels, and me and my ass, then 20 lbs more than when I started school, was sitting pretty comfy. When I was telling myself “good job,” I forgot to tell myself “this is just the beginning. Hold on, and get ready. The best is yet to come.”

So cut to me 7 years later. You know, years seem to go back a lot faster after college. I’m not sure that is a scientific fact, but I’d bet 10 packets of Top Ramen on it. I’m chomping at the bit as they say and I want to go for gold

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5 more minutes, I swear. Give me 5 more minutes.

I have been looking into post-bac work with my Alma Mater, and, god-willing… Grad School! I’m not getting any younger and I want to use these brain cells while they still function relatively well (as well as they ever have… lol) So it’s time to start getting things together, transcripts, recommendation letters, tuition, etc. In my head this all seems so simple, so easy. But once I start to actually think about doing these things, I get a bit overwhelmed. My nay-saying attitude is really bringing me down. Aren’t I supposed to be more mature now? I should be above self-doubt, right? Well, guess not.

Now in my 30’s I am beginning to see that “nothing changes if nothing changes.” Time doesn’t change people who don’t allow change to happen. I have been clinging to the fear and the self-doubt for as long as I can remember – hence the 7-year-gap (and counting) since my last matriculation. Part of me want the best. Ok maybe more than a part of me. If I am going to challenge myself I want to really aim high. Although I am not sure who would

support me in my goals (some consider them far too high), I would like nothing more than to get a chance to study at UCSF, Georgetown, Yale, John’s Hopkins, or Columbia. Pipe dreams? Maybe. Impossible? No. So pause here. Breath. One step at a time. What was it I reminded myself of in my last entry?

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Hmmm. Yes ok, I see… Now how the hell do you pronounce that?

Oh yeah. HUMILITY! Hmmm. But humility isn’t thinking I am less than. Nor is it thinking I am more than. It is accepting where I am, and who I am. I am Jon. I am 30 years old. I want to go back to school. I haven’t attended classes for 7 years. I want to go do a post-baccalaureate program. I want to attend a top-notch Grad school. I want to be a nurse, and get my DNP. But again, I’m fortunate for my family, and grateful I have running water. So I’m gonna take it step by step. It won’t be easy for me, so let’s just see how this goes. One question… Do people still use pencils in class?

 
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Posted by on October 12, 2012 in Education, Uncategorized

 

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