Lately I have been feeling great. I am not sure why. Whether it is the world around me, or a change in attitude, I seem to be bouncing back from my daily swings into slight sadness. It’s not depression, mind you. I have been there, and this feels different. I have known folks who can’t get out of bed from their Depression (here’s the clinical definition: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001941/ ), and those too scared to even move through life. That is a road I have seen, and I have gratefully never followed for too long.
No, today I am simply feeling blue. This is okay and perfectly normal. After a period of joy, it seems logical and reasonable that one would experience a slight letdown. So yeah. I am. Crestfallen, or whatever. So I felt compelled to take stock in the things in my life which already produce happiness. I just need a little change in perspective and attitude. Whenever I find myself a little bit blue like this, I find that doing a gratitude list really puts me back on the path to joy.
So here goes:
I AM GRATEFUL (see gratitude: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gratitude )
I am grateful for my carpet: Because I remember a time when I had cold, hardwood floors, and a tremendous heating bill.
I am grateful for my computer: Because I remember a time when all I had was a word processor. I feel lucky and privileged to own such an advanced piece of equipment.
I am grateful for my family: Because I remember a time when I lost my mother to heart disease, and the toll it took on my brother and father.
I am grateful for my friends: Because I recall the lonely times when they were the only ones around still speaking with me. I have the best friends in the world because I know that despite having wonderful lives on their own, I know I can always depend on them when I am in need.
I am grateful for my Netflix: Because I remember when I had no choice of what to watch on TV, and only had a few channels to choose between.
I am grateful for my job: Because I remember a time when I didn’t think enough of myself to try hard.
I am grateful for my money (and lack thereof): Because I realize that the freedom to spend is a choice I make, and that it affords me wonderful luxuries. (ok, moderate luxuries, but luxuries nonetheless)
I am grateful for my food: Because I have seen how a lot of the world lives in poverty, and how significant it is to have all this wonderful food at my disposal. With Farmer’s Markets, Supermarkets, Food Trucks, Michelin Restaurants, and varieties of food from all over the world, one never finds a lack of things to eat in the Silicon Valley.
I am grateful for my healthcare: Because I remember when I was sick and had no one to turn to. I had been so used to having a health plan that the prospect of not having one frightened me. It was incredibly confusing and nerve-wracking trying to figure out how to get services. Eventually, I was offered help by wonderful Enrollment Specialists and Case Managers, but I never forgot that feeling of not being able to just run over and get some antibiotics for that pesky bronchitis I tend to get… I have Kaiser now and I love it. There may be problems, but there are usually a host of benefits that heavily outweigh the challenges these days.
I am grateful for my mood: For I remember being so scared to sleep that I would shake, so afraid to speak up that I would stay silent, so scared to joke that I would only cry.
I am grateful for the weather: Even on its worst day, Silicon Valley still has pretty tame weather. I have seen houses ruined and people die from storms both at home and abroad. A little rain here and there is no big deal.
I am grateful for my freedom: Because I have seen those who don’t have the power of choice.
I am grateful for my mentors and those who help inspire me everyday: Because I remember when I didn’t even think enough of myself to write a blog. This is for you. 🙂
Ok, I feel better… 🙂
Thanks for reading,
Feel free to comment and share your own gratitude.