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Tag Archives: love

Inspire me!

Inspire me!

Well, helloooooooo!

I have been blogging for over a year now, and have found it exceedingly fun. I actually got inspired by watching Julie and Julia (thank you to the late and great Nora Ephron). I do plan on reading the book eventually… lol220px-Julie_and_julia

I related a lot to Julie’s steps and missteps in life, trying to find a place where she felt loved, appreciated, and passionate. She found herself slipping in life, falling between the cracks of her peers, and struggling to find an identity. She found herself. It was not through meditation, rehab, or even a relationship, it was through cooking. Cooking Julia Child specifically. She decided to take on the task of cooking all the recipes in Child’s Mastering The Art of French Cooking. How she dealt with the ups and downs of cooking reflected how she handled her problems in her life. (check out the clip below – from the movie) Do you simply give up after a failure? Do you constantly have a need for approval? Can you simply try and love yourself for trying? I found the message to be truly heartwarming. The Julie character was human. She was imperfect, and beautiful. She tried at life. She went in not knowing what to expect. She had many setbacks, but eventually succeeded, not just by accomplishing what she set out to do, but every single time she picked herself up and kept at it, she was a success. I can relate.

All my life I have felt less than. I feel like everyone else is in competition, and that I will ultimately be the loser. I gain strength from the messages in this film. I found that I can be me, aIMG_6896nd that I am glorious already. It is time to shine. I am simply putting my thoughts into this blog. I am obviously not an expert, well, in anything really. But I like to think that I can love myself simply because I deserve love. Everyone does.

So enough with the heavy… I am still waiting to see what life this blog will take. I am trying to let it go in its own direction. I look to you now to inspire that direction. Please fill out the poll below and let me know what (if any) of the following would interest you. I really want to know! 🙂 If it’s not on the list, just let me know in the comment section.

Thank you for reading… And although I may not know all of you, I love you just the same.

XOXO

-Jon

 

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Negative Calories (aka Don’t drink the poison)

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Sometimes I can’t believe the shit people say… Sigh…

Is it right to be judgmental? Must everything be black or white? I like to think that there are many shades of gray. The critique I hear about musicians, actors, actresses, sports players, and even friends, and acquaintances can be so… well… mean. I get that we as humans like to make judgements. If we did not, we’d never sit on a chair, because we’d be forever considering and debating what a “chair” is, instead of saying “it has a flat surface, and four legs and a back support – it’s a chair – and then sit. Well, when it comes to others people, especially friends and acquaintances, I often feel pulled into opinions and critical judgments – as if I am supposed to not like certain people, to judge people harshly, to make them feel less than. As I grow and learn, I often see how hateful and mean people can be.

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“#*%$(@!?!” – some angry dude

Just this weekend I experienced the misplaced rage of a driver who shouted “get off the road you assholes” to me and my friends as we were out on a bike ride, and at a stoplight. I have recently read that Don Miguel Ruiz suggests not looking at the person doing the shouting, but instead at my reaction to the offense. Did we deserve to receive such hateful words? No. Were we being safe and respectful of others on the road? Yes. Did we do anything to warrant such anger from a stranger? Absolutely not. SO then why would I even be bothered by this? Human nature tells me that anyone in that situation would be bothered by being yelled at. Well, is that really true? Do all people feel such low self-esteem that a comment by some angry passerby really makes them re-evaluate their entire existence? I’d hate to think so. In fact, I bet a lot of people would tell me that they wouldn’t even be the least bit affected by that.

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Beware of the pizza dude (caveat emptor…)

Letting the anger and hate of others slide right off sounds easy enough, but what if you weren’t in a place to take that so easily? Should one blame themselves further for letting it happen? Well that certainly wouldn’t help matters.

So what is there to do? Avoid ever going outside? Stay away from any public setting for the rest of your life? Not an option. The answer again must come from within.

Don Miguel Ruiz speaks of a Magical Kitchen in which one has all they could ever eat – all the best food in the world. Someone shows up at your door one day, and offers you a pizza. There is a catch. If you take the pizza you have to obey that person. If you have all the food you could ever want, you wouldn’t think twice about giving up your freedom to a stranger with a pizza. You have what you need. You don’t feel any compulsion to give in.

Now imagine the same scenario without the advantage of having any food at all. You are starving, and the stranger offers you food. You take it. You need to. You are willing to do anything to get it. Even give up your freedom. You can’t help it. You are dependent on this handout.

Ok, so this is all metaphorical obviously. If you already have something in excess, you won’t be tempted to become dependent on it from another. Although in this example we use food. One could also apply the same logic to love. When I love myself in excess, the hateful words of another are meaningless to me. Not because I have a witty comeback, or because I am completely numb, but because I really have no place in my life for such negativity. It just doesn’t fit. It bounces off without effort.

That’s where I want to be. I want to exist in a place where the negativity of those around me doesn’t stick. I often hear half-compliments, things meant to be witty but are also seemingly hurtful. Maybe I am just way too sensitive. I see a lot of gay men do this to each other – talking about how they want to be accepted by society, while at the same time, they talk about each other like an enemy, like they hate them. They critique, judge, and make cutting remarks about looks, style, body, talents, social standing, class, and intelligence, to name a few. Sometimes I wonder why people who are still being treated like second-class citizens treat each other like they are less-than. I see racism and sexism too. Teasing people about the way they look or where they come from. It bothers me. Well, I must say that I choose to steer clear of it when I see it. It’s a deal-breaker for me. I guess it makes it hard to make friends sometimes. I feel like people like when other people feed into their hate and negativity. Since I try to avoid it, I often avoid the people who display these traits. Despite the challenges of finding good friends, who aren’t critical or judgmental, who aren’t racist or sexist, age-ist, or class-ist, there are good people out there. I value the friendships I have today for the fact that those in my life are positive influences. They are the best friends I could ever ask for, and I truly love them.

Society will never understand our love... :-)

Society will never understand our love… 🙂

P.S. – It is good to be happy.

Thanks for reading.

-Jon

 
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Posted by on February 25, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Monster from Within

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Sometimes it can be difficult to get through the day. Most of the time, life seems alright and nothing more than mild depression or joy seems to take place. But other days, life can seem rough. And what’s more, it may not be clear why. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning and I am not sure why. I didn’t have sugar before bed or anything, but I woke up terrified. Sometimes it’s the things I can’t articulate that overwhelm me more than anything else. At least with a challenge that’s laid out in front of me, I know what to fight for and what to prepare myself against. But this morning was something different. Sometimes the monster is not like something in a Harry Potter movie, but something inside of me. Another form of destructive beast. The kind that takes on friendly forms and eats me from the inside out. I speak of course about a monster that has no name, one that lies in the deep and waits for a vulnerable time to strike. It cares less about the injury and more about getting me down.

For days like this I have to tell myself to press on. Fight the good fight, or don’t fight at all. Do whatever it takes to not let it take control. I took a hard look at all the wonderful gifts I have in my life and decided to focus on that. And although I felt sad and anxious, I walked through it all accepting the fact that I can be a neurotic young man sometimes. 🙂

So having pressed on and weathered the crappy morning of uncertain despair and hidden sadness, through the love and joy of the world around me and the wiliness to not only push through my emotions but also accept that I have them and maybe they will sting for a while. After all I am not a robot. I get knocked down and I get back up. It’s not easy. It just plain isn’t. But it is possible. With faith that everything will be okay, I can walk through anything. So I will choose to hold that in my mind the next time I wake up less than wonderful.

 
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Posted by on August 29, 2011 in Wellbeing

 

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